


Five Stages of Grief

by marvelfoodlover



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Tony Stark, Gay James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Gen, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Not Steve Friendly, Pepper Potts Is a Good Bro, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, and Rhodey gives him one, for hurting my Tony, i have a bit of problem with the avengers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-08-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 14:15:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7577257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelfoodlover/pseuds/marvelfoodlover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post Civil War where Tony realizes he is going to die and there isn't enough time to make everything right again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Denial

_Aneurysm_. Specifically, cerebal aneurysm.

Honestly Tony should have known that the universe won’t even let him live in peace.

He knew that he had high blood pressure, and had chalked up the cause of severe headaches to his repeated use of BARF. The pain in his chest, caused by the aneurysm, should have been an indicator, but with the disaster his teammates left and helping Rhodey, he as usual ignored his own pains.

If he was being painfully honest, Tony wouldn’t have let anyone know about this. If it weren’t for the fact that he fainted when Rhodey was with him, he would have kept the aneurysm topic to himself.

When he woke up in the hospital (he knew it by the smell) with Rhodey and Pepper beside him, Tony had expected them to yell at him for not taking care of himself. Instead, he saw the paleness Rhodey had and the red eyes from Pepper, he knew that it was something bad.

“Boy these drugs are good,” Tony muttered as he tried to get up. Pepper gently but firmly pushed him down, forcing him to lay on the bed. Rhodey blankly told him that he had cerebal aneurysm, as if he didn’t believe it.

“Huh” was all Tony could say before he fell back to his darkness.

….

When Tony wakes up again, he sees that Rhodey is still beside him. Now there is a doctor talking to him, and both turn to Tony when they realize that he was awake.

“Mr. Stark,” the doctor gently talks as he walks over to him. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired.”

“Yes. Mr. Stark-“

“I have aneurysm.” Tony hated it when people sugar-coated things to him. The doctor hid his surprise and Rhodey flinched. The doctor went to explain how the aneurysm was too big, too dangerous that it was inoperable, meaning that there was no cure. The doctors could not fix it, and Tony wasn’t sure if he wanted to fix this.

The doctor suggested that Tony live in a stress-free environment, and Tony had to laugh at the irony that stress could actually _kill_ him. “When can I go home?” Tony asks in the middle of nonsense that the doctor was speaking, actually thinking that Tony would follow that advice.

“After I prescribe your medication, you are good to go. I could recommend a therapist to help,” the doctor replied. _Yeah right_ , as if Tony would willingly go and talk about his feelings.

“Thank you doctor,” Rhodey speaks for the first time. He stands up, a little shaky because of the prosthetic legs that Tony _has_ to make it perfect.

“This does not go public,” Tony demands because he can’t take the pity from everyone.

The doctor nods at the Colonel and the genius, and turns to get out of the room. He stops and turns back to Tony, and Tony could see the pity in the doctor’s eyes. “I am sorry Mr. Stark,” he simply said and left, as if it was his fault that Tony got a _fucking_ _aneurysm_.

Tony is worried because of how Rhodey looks. He could see how the shock is still in his mind, could see the fear because of his shaky hands. He started to pace around, the prosthetics clicking as he took deep breaths.

“Rhodey calm down,” Tony tried to reassure. “You are going through denial right now-“

“How the fuck are you so calm?” Rhodey nearly shouted. “You just found out that you are going to die Tones!”

“Because I have gone through this before!"

Rhodey stopped and looked at Tony, with eyes full of something that the younger man didn’t see before: _fear_.

“Five stages of grief. I am going through denial right now. It helps, you know, to understand what I am going through scientifically.”

Rhodey walks to him and takes his hand, squeezing it for reassurance. He does not need to say that he was going to stick with Tony through everything.

He really doesn’t deserve this, Tony believes.

….

It was after four days when Tony was fixing the exoskeleton that needs to be perfect for Rhodey because he is _dying_.

It hits him and he has to slide to the floor because _oh god he is dying._

…

 

Rhodey had met Tony at MIT, when Tony was just fifteen. Brilliant but too young, Tony Stark stood triumphant in front of the arrogant professors and selfish classmates, never letting the words or actions to bring him down. Because he never cared about them.

Rhodey had assumed that having to dorm with the youngest Stark would be living hell because he had thought Tony Stark would be obnoxious little bastard. But instead all he saw was a boy pushed into the adult's world, too young to not be playing and enjoying his life. He saw a boy who worked hard to have his father's recognition, only to be rewarded with cold words and disdain stare. He saw a boy who would nostalgically remember how his mother would sing to him when he was too young, and now didn't have enough time to even see her son. He saw a boy who never had friends who he would keep in contact too, a lonely boy who wished to belong somewhere.

All Rhodey saw was a boy too young to deal with the adult world, and the broken brown eyes whenever his parents didn't come to his science fairs.

They didn't realize how much their friendship meant to them until they had a huge argument. Rhodey didn't realize how much Tony meant to him until _he_ was the reason of the broken brown eyes, and it hit him like a bulldozer.

Rhodey had decided that he would always be there for Tony, just like how the younger man has always been there for him.

But now as the doctor tells him that his best friend has aneurysm and there was no way of curing it, all Rhodey could think was that Tony wouldn't be with him _forever_.


	2. Anger

The first time Tony feels the anger is when he is writing his will in his office. Ever since he had the palladium poisoning, he had kept on updating his will. But there was always a reassurance in the back of his mind that next year he will be able to change the will again. It was oddly satisfying to him.

But now, he doesn't have that _luxury_ anymore.

He stopped talking when he saw a cup on the side of the table, and stilled when he realized that it was Rogers’s cup. _Why does everything bad happen to him?_ He saw red and his mind clouded with anger as he threw that cup across the room. He felt small satisfaction as the cup shattered into pieces, and tried to calm his shaky hands.

“Boss?” FRIDAY murmured worriedly, bringing Tony back to the reality. He slumped on the floor and blinked back the tears that were forming. He was so angry. Rogers, Barnes, Natasha, everyone because of what happened. Angry at himself for letting it happen. _Angry at the world and fate because why does this always happen to him? Why?_

But his anger wouldn’t help. It couldn’t fix the accords. It certainly couldn’t help Rhodey to walk again. It couldn’t help to keep Peter safe. It wouldn't help anyone, so Tony had to push down his anger.

“I’m fine,” he tells FRIDAY before she lets Rhodey know about this episode.

 _No you are not_ , a malevolent voice that sounded like Howard whispered.

He pretended not to hear it.

…..

The second time he almost snaps is when Bruce Banner and Natasha Romanoff come to his doorsteps. Rhodey is beside him as they walk back into the mansion after a meeting with their therapist. It helps, Tony will grudgingly agree, but it is ludicrous because he knows exactly what he is feeling. _Not the first time something inside of him is killing him_ , he wanted to tell but thankfully didn’t.

Tony agrees to move back to the his old mansion with Rhodey’s persistence with him and Vision because they will be able to keep on eye on him. Vision knows about Tony’s dying situation because he was also there when he fainted, and tries to help the dying man as much he could by being his bodyguard.

The only reason Tony agrees to move back to the mansion is that so he wouldn’t have to see the empty compound that used to filled with people he had considered as his friends.

FRIDAY wasn’t installed into the mansion yet because he didn’t really have the time so Tony, Rhodey and Vision didn’t know that Bruce Banner and Natasha Romanoff would be inside their home.

“Look who finally decided to join the party,” Tony bitterly said.

“I am disappointed in you,” Banner starts, and Rhodey stands in front his best friend before the doctor could say anything. “Get out,” Rhodey commands without a trace of fear. Romanoff is holding on to Banner’s arm, trying to calm him down.

“The Other Guy is very angry that you were working with Ross,” Bruce spat. “He is almost ready to club you to the ground.”

“If it meant to protect the people’s will then I am ready fuck the devil,” Tony starts to walk towards the angry man, not afraid. Rhodey pulls him back as Natasha holds on to Bruce when she sees a hint of green.

“I could kill you for what you did,” Bruce shouts, angry that his friend would work with his worst enemy.

“Yeah? You’ll be doing me a favor then,” Tony shouts back, stopping with Rhodey goes still. He looks at him and sees how Rhodey blinks rapidly and looks at him with fear again. Tony stops resisting and calms himself.

“What do you mean?” from Natasha went unheard when Bruce shouted a “Why?”

“Because 117 countries wanted accountability!” Tony yells back because he is tired of people not listening. “117 countries wanted a right to know whether they want the help or not. 117 countries who are afraid of what we can do!”

“Tony,” Rhodey whispers and the genius knows his best friend is terrified because he _never_ let his anger know in front people he doesn’t trust.

“Hold on a minute,” Natasha speaks and looks at Bruce with an annoyed glare. “What is going on? What are you hiding?”

“You don’t need to know,” Rhodey spits out. “And you lost that right Romanoff,” Tony adds.

“Doctor Banner. Ms. Romanoff,” Vision speaks for the first time. “I suggest that you leave before I am forced to call the authorities. You have, after all, broken in our home.”

Bruce is still looking at Tony with hatred while Natasha seems to understand the complications. She shouldn’t have let Bruce come to Tony right after she told him everything. She should have waited until he calmed down but she was compromised. Just like everyone.

Bruce lets her to walk away but stops when Tony says something. “When you actually read the accords, come back and we’ll talk then.” Tony doesn’t add that he may not have that much time.

Rhodey relaxes when the couple finally leaves and hugs Tony tightly, letting the younger man carry his weight. “Are you okay?” Rhodey asks once he pulls back.

“I am fine,” Tony tells him because he actually felt fine.

 _Liar_ , the malevolent voice whispered, and Tony ignored that too.

…..

Tony finally snapped after two weeks since he found out about the aneurysm. He is back at his lab working on Rhodey’s prosthetics when the metal cuts his hand. Usually it never bothered him, but watching the blood drip on the table made him sick. He searched for something to stop the bleeding when FRIDAY spoke up.

“Boss, Ms. Potts is here and has requested to met with you,” his AI spoke.

“Tell her I am busy,” Tony replied shortly because _fuck_ the bleeding isn’t stopping. He knows it is stupid and anger is flowing into his mind  _but why does this always happen to him?_ Tony doesn’t realize that he was throwing all of the glasses and tools across his lab. Within minutes his floor was filled with shards of test tube glasses and metal and once his mind cleared from the rage, he slips to his ground. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he surveyed the damage he has done.

Because isn’t that what he always did? _Destroy everything whatever he touches?_

He barely realizes that Pepper and Rhodey are in front of him, looking at him worriedly and wonders why they care. _Why they should care about him when all he does is destroy? Why do everyone leave him and he is left to deal with their shit?_

“Why?” Tony whispers as Rhodey holds him close, ruffling his hair. Rhodey kisses his forehead as he continues to hold onto to Tony. Pepper holds Tony’s hand, crying silently as she tries to be brave.

“We’ll get through,” Rhodey whispers as Tony continues to cry. For minutes they stay there until Tony stops. He lets go of Rhodey, even though he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t look at them as he surveys his lab. DUMMY, You, and Butterfingers are hovering around him, trying to help their creator but not knowing what to do it.

“I am sorry,” Tony said without looking at anymore, his eyes fixed at his mess. “You guys don’t deserve this-“

“And you do?” Rhodey angrily asked because fuck Tony would totally believe that. “Look at me Tony,” he takes his best friend’s head in his hands, forcing his brown scared eyes to look at him, ”You never deserved this. You don’t deserve what you are going through.”

"And listen to me clearly Stark, if you think you’ll push us I’ll fucking punch you.” Pepper adds, though the threat was lost by the crack in her voice.

And Tony laughs because _fuck_ _these two people hold his heart and they are not leaving him._


	3. Bargaining

Tony Stark is a man of science. He does not believe in a higher being called God, and never believed in destiny or fate.

He is a futurist, and believes that his life is what it is because of his actions in the past. The present is where everyone is improving the bad ideas that is their history.

Tony Stark did not believe in God, but his sweet mother did.

Maria Stark would take Tony to church every Sunday when he was really young. It was his time with his mother because she was always busy with her charity, but she will always made time for her son on Sundays. She knew that he didn't believe in God, and didn't force her religion on him. People expect the Starks to be religious even though Howard and Tony were men of science.

But his mother, _god his beautiful mother_ , always believed in it. Once, Tony had asked her why she would believe when there are so many facts about the world that is true and logical. And Maria Stark would look at her son, her eyes loving and understanding and said, ”Because, love, every person has a way to understand his or her life. It is my choice to how I understand my life, and you shouldn’t judge people based on the choices they made but how they overcame it.”

And it stuck to him. The days where he and his mother would go to her church, on the days of christmas and new years before his father sent him off to board school. To see her mother’s devotion and something she truly believed in because she wanted to was one of the reasons why Tony loved his mother. She may be only known Howard Stark’s wife to the world, but her presence left a great impact in the world through her charity in the name of God.

Maybe that is why Tony is in the same church he used to visit with his mother. The church never changed, he made sure of that. It was quiet, not many people around, and the ones who were there left him alone. He sat in the back as the priest talked about _forgiveness_ and tried to figure out why he was here. Was he here because he wanted to remember his mother? To remember the rare moments he spent with his mother?

He wonders why his mother chose to believe in God. He remains seated as people get up and leave, the group of people having a purpose in their lives. Was this why his mother always came here? To feel that she had a purpose in life? He looks at the statue of the Christ and wonders again why is he here. He jumps when the priest taps on his shoulder, ready to open up his gauntlet. He looks around to see that they were the only people left and it was dark outside, and he blinked rapidly as to come up with an excuse.

“Are you alright?” The priest asks, gently.

Tony looks at the priest and feels his mouth dry. “I am going to die.”

_Fuck, did he really say that?_

The priest sits next to him, noticing how tense Tony is. The genius does not know if the priest even knows who he is and is kicking himself because _he just told a stranger that he is dying._

“Is there any cure?”

Tony looks straight ahead and shakes his head. They sit there for few minutes in a comfortable silence, but Tony can’t help but feel like he knows this priest.

“I don’t know why I am here,” Tony said, _horrified_ that he can’t stop talking. “I don’t believe in God, I never did, and I know that there is no cure.” Tony stops, thinking that the priest would comment but all he got was silence. He didn’t dare look at the older man, wondering what the priest was actually thinking. “I used to come here with my mother, before she died. Those were few moments I had with my mother, and I cherish them with everything I got. But, I don’t know why it bothers me that I want to be here.”

The priest is silent for few seconds before he speaks. “I believe you are trying to find something.”

“What?”

“That is something only you can answer,” the priest replies. “Many come to this church to find something they truly want. Some want answers to their problems, others want their loved ones back. Few want death, and sometimes they turn to someone who is known to have the answers to all. Each has its own unique but understandable needs, and I cannot know what your own need is, son. So what do you really want child? Death or life?”

“No,” Tony whispers and looks at the kind blue eyes of the old priest. “I want more time.”

Death is something Tony has accepted. He knows that everyone is going to die someday, but what Tony is trying to realize is that he does not have the _time_ to live his life. He won’t see Rhodey and Pepper old, still acting annoyed by his crazy antics. He won’t see all of the Avengers reunited, and even though he is angry with Steve, the world still needs the team. He won’t be able to see Peter grow up to be old enough, won’t be able to live enough to see the world _safe_.

He wants the time to help Rhodey to get back to his feet. He wants the time to see Pepper meeting someone who will keep her happy. He wants the time to see that he actually has a child. He has so much he wants but he doesn't have the _time_. 

He is here because he wants someone to give him extra time to live his life.

.....

There are many nights when Tony didn't want to sleep. It wasn't really uncommon, with nightmares and panic attacks that are usually triggered, so many nights Tony avoided sleep. But tonight, he wanted to sleep. He wanted to feel normal, and of course, the one night when he wanted to sleep was when he couldn’t sleep. He sighs as he gets up from the bed, taking a deep breath as he walks to the kitchen. He lets FRIDAY know to not let Rhodey wake up, and is honestly surprised to see Vision in the kitchen. Tony knows that the android does not need the sleep to function, but he had known that Vision liked to sleep. It surprised him to see Vision reading over the accords in the kitchen table, and Tony wasn’t sure if he should even be there anymore.

“Burning the midnight oil, are we?” Tony said as Vision calmly looks up to him.

“Mr. Stark,” Vision said, reminding of someone Tony missed the most.

“Tony,” he corrected, making the android smile. “What are you working on?” Tony asks.

“I believe that having an Avenger  on the panel when discussing and evaluating a mission would be effective. It would not only show a sense of compromise, but will also make sure that an incident created by General Ross would not occur again in the future,” Vision replied back.

Tony winced at that, and it was a good idea for an Avenger to on the panel. “We could elect an Avenger to be placed on the panel every month,” Tony added. They talked a bit more and Tony watched as Vision scribbled the notes for his creator.

“Vision,” Tony asks as he gets to the kitchen counter, “why aren’t you sleeping?”

Vision stays still at that, and looks at Tony with uncertainty, as if to not burden the dying man anymore. Tony rolls his eyes on that, “I may be dying, but I can help.”

The android hesitates for a moment. “I seemed to be disturbed by the recent events.”

“Wanda?” Everyone knew about the connection between Scarlet Witch and Vision.

(Tony ignored the fact that it was slightly weird, but hey, who was he to judge?)

“And Colonel Rhodes,” Vision adds quietly. Tony pauses a bit but then continues to look around the cabinets.

“Did you talk to Rhodey?”

“Yes,” Vision replies back.

“But you still feel guilty.” Tony states.

“I keep on wondering if I hadn’t let Wanda go with Mr. Barton, the Colonel Rhodes wouldn’t be in this position. Or if I wasn’t compromised-“

“We all were compromised,” Tony retorts. He turns to see Vision looking down and sets the kettle pot on the heat. “I cannot tell you how to not feel guilty, it is something I am still working on.” Vision looks up, and Tony can see the lost look in the android’s eyes. “All I can say is to use that guilt to do something good. And you already are, with helping to amend the accords.”

“I cannot trust her,” Vision whispers after a long moment of silence. Tony sits beside him, a cup of chamomile tea placed in front of him. Vision hid his surprise when Tony puts another cup of tea in front of him. It goes without being said that Tony doesn’t trust any of their ex-Avengers anymore, and Tony cannot offer any advice to Vision. All he can do is be with him, and helping whenever he can. Few minutes pass by as they continue to sip on their tea, minds lost in a world of what ifs.

“We should start an Insomnia party,” Tony quips.

“I do enjoy the tea,” Vision replies back with a smile, and Tony lets out a laugh because how _British_ it sounds.

Only if Tony had more time to see Vision happy.

.....

"I am sorry Mr. Stark," Dr. Steven Strange replied gravely. "But there is nothing I can do."

And Pepper's world shattered with those words.

“What do you mean?” Pepper asked the doctor. He was supposed to be the one with the answers! “You are the best neurosurgeon on this planet and you should be able to help him!”

“The aneurysm is too big around the blood vessels in the brain for the operation to work,” Dr. Strange explains. He looks at the Tony Stark, who looks calm compared to the frantic eyes of Pepper Potts. “I am sorry,” he gravely adds.

Pepper stands up and leaves the room with no words, leaving the two geniuses behind. Tony gives a nod to the doctor and runs after Pepper. It doesn’t take much long to reach the elevator just before it closes his door. Now alone in the elevator, Tony can see the shaking shoulders and clenched jaws as Pepper looked away. He steps closer and forces her to look at him, seeing the trembling lips and the watery eyes.

Tony pulls her against his body, letting Pepper to bury her face in his neck. He runs his fingers through her soft hair as Pepper let out sobs. This man, who has been her rock for almost two decades is going to leave her forever and she could do nothing about it.

A dark cloud descends on his mind as Tony holds the crying woman in his arms. 


	4. Depression

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was hard to write because it is a lot more personal to me. So please do try not to comment on how depression should feel like. Because for everyone it is different experience, and I hope you will respect that.

There are days when Tony could get up with motivation and tackle all of the problems. He would eat, go to his lab and work on his projects and then work with Vision and Rhodey on the accords. He would go the SI shareholder meetings, change plans to make sure that the company would still prosper even after his death. Peter would come by, to work on some of his projects. He had called Harley and introduced him to Peter, knowing that these two would inherit his legacy. They immediately created a bond, and talked about science and school along with ranting about Tony even though the man would still be in the room. 

Those days would end with him feeling like he had accomplished _something_ and he would sleep with a smile on his face. 

Then there were days where he would wake up feeling like shit. He wouldn't want to get up and face the world, but then he remembers all of the little time he has. He ignores the malevolent voices whispers that mocked him. He ignores the feeling that whatever he does is useless because he was one step closer to death. He went on, ignoring the concerned glances from Rhodey and Pepper whenever he put on his mask and worked to complete his goals before time ran out.

"This is good work Dr. Stark," T'Challa said after reviewing the revised version of the accords with a smile. They are at the Avengers compound because the King of Wakanda wanted to help amend the accords. Tony was sitting with Rhodey on his right and Vision on his left, and facing the King with his Dora Milaje. Tony gave T'Challa a bright fake smile as Rhodey nods in appreciation. None of the parties are too open, too friendly because of the recent events that occurred.  

"With General Ross's actions, the UN councils were more willingly to amend the accords to have public support," Vision adds, his face not betraying any emotion.

"I am sure that plenty of individuals will be seeing this," Tony said, looking at T'Challa knowingly. The King tensed for a bit but relaxes back with a smile.

"Maybe you should provide the first step for everyone, Dr. Stark."

To that Tony smirks mirthlessly. It was T'Challa's way of saying to use the phone. But phone works two ways, and if Rogers was really that guilty, maybe _he_ should call him.

"I do not want to waste my time on that," Tony states and he stands up. "It is nice to see Your Highness," he nods his farewell and turns to the door, knowing Rhodey and Vision will follow him.  

"Mr. Stark-" Tony stops but doesn't turn "-I understand that you angry about your parents. I understand that anger-"

"No you don't," Tony almost snarls back. "You are able to forgive _him_  because he didn't kill your father. You do not know the betrayal I had or understand that, so don't do this."

He doesn't stop walking away, and ignores the voices that repeat that it is his fault _it is his fault_.

 .....

 Tony isn't unfamiliar with depression. The dark cloud was always with him ever since his parents' death, and he could deal with it. Nights spent in his lab working and tinkering around, or getting himself drunk enough to not think about the dark thoughts. His mind brought him down but he always got up with a fake smile and snarky lies. 

But this time as he stays on his bed, he doesn't have the energy to get up. He doesn't have the energy to put on a fake smile and tackle the world. He doesn't have the energy because everything seemed so _pointless_. He doesn't know the exact amount of time he has to make sure everything will be alright by the time he drops dead. He doesn't have the energy to feel sad or suicidal anymore. 

All he feels is _tiredness_. 

"Boss?" FRIDAY softly asks. He has been in his bed for four hours now. 

"I'm fine FRY," he tells her before she calls Rhodey or Pepper. "I feel tired."  
  
"Should I call the doctor?" His AI responded. 

"No," Tony tells her. "And no contact with anyone please. I don't want anyone to know I am here FRY," He commands. 

FRIDAY goes quiet, probably disapproving his actions but he seemed to not _care_ anymore.  

He is tired of helping the world that will always be corrupt. He is tired of trying to change the world for a better place because all he did would be useless in the end. 

Even when palladium was poisoning him, there was always a chance that he could survive it. In the back of his mind, he never lost that hope. But there is no chance with aneurysm, and no cure for it. There wasn't anything he could do.    

Nightmares of Rogers and Howard pushing the shield to his chest changed to something else. He would be talking to Pepper and suddenly _die_ , leaving her crying and holding his dead body. He would be with Rhodey as the man would fall down and when Tony moved to help, he _died_. Rhodey was on the floor screaming for help as Tony laid on the floor. 

He would wake up in sweats and not allow FRIDAY to call anyone. 

Because isn't that what will happen? _He will literally drop dead any minute._

So why bother with anything?

Maybe it is because he is dying, but he sees no point in living. He sees the pointlessness of life. He sees no meaning in life because everything will die so why bother with the living?

....

Tony stayed in the bed for two days. He got up whenever he needed to use the bathroom, but he always went back to his puddle of comfort that was his bed. He ignored the questions from FRIDAY, and knew that she would call on _somebody_ to check on him. He expected Rhodey to barrel in or Pepper to drag him out of his room. 

What he didn't expect was to see Harley and Peter on the side of his bed when he comes out of his bedroom. 

"Rhodey told us," Harley states, narrowing his eyes with anger at the older man. 

He didn't tell them. _Fuck_ , he saw the sorrow and betrayal in their eyes and he idly wondered _how could his father not feel anything when he saw his son cry_. Tony felt like someone was squeezing his heart.   

"Why didn't you tell us?" Peter asked, hurt in his voice clearly heard. 

"What would change?" Tony didn't know why he was being such a jerk but he didn't really care. 

A small amount of guilt started to build up when he saw the two teenagers flinch, but he continued towards the whisky he _knew_ he kept somewhere. 

"The Tony I know would never give up," Harley speaks up. "The Tony I know would wallow in self-pity."

"And what do you know?" Tony  yells, his voice suddenly thick with tears. "How do you know what it feels like to be dying? No one will be there when I die so I will pity myself! Because I deserve to be pitied. I did so much, tried to do so much but all for what? Nothing. My best friend is paralyzed because of me. All most all of my 'teammates' betrayed or abandoned me! I wasted so much of my time for nothing and so no matter what I do now is useless because nothing is ever going to change!"  

He wasn't facing them when he bursted out, and turned quickly when he heard the crack in Harley's voice. 

"What do you mean no one will care?"

He turns to see the two boys, his boys, trembling and shaking. He sees their teary eyes and shaky hands, and the way they look at him with such hurt and fear that-

-it reminded of himself, whenever Howard would give _him_ cold shoulder.

And he feels sick to his stomach because _he was just like Howard._

"I am sorry," Tony mumbles between his sobs, legs giving out. He feels a familiar body pressed against his body, and another one comes closer to him as they huddles together on the floor. 

_ He could have been happy.  _

....

Tony isn't sure whether it is dusk or dawn when he gets up, and his body tenses when he feels something _close_ to his body. He knows that his eyes are swollen because of all the crying, and then suddenly he remembers _everything_. He doesn't get up quickly, afraid that it would jolt Harley and Peter out of their sleep. He watches with a small smile as Harley's head is on his chest and Peter almost falling off the bed if it weren't for him holding on to Tony's hand. 

For the first time in ages, Tony feels tranquil. 


	5. Acceptance

_The hot water helps a little_ , Tony thinks. 

It has been two days since his breakdown. The guilt didn't fade away even after apologizing to the two young boys. They were angry, but their sorrow won over and the two boys continued to stick closely to Tony. He didn't have the heart to push them away, and resisted the urge to snark whenever they would look at him as if he would just disappear. 

He scared them, he knows. He scared himself too.  

He never felt that low and  _useless_ in his entire life, and it terrified him. He didn’t want to fall into that dark pit ever again, so he distracted himself in his lab. He allowed Harley to stay with him when the younger boy claimed since he was on his vacation he could just do all of his experiments in the tower rather than in home. Tony didn’t have the heart to say no, and didn’t say anything when Peter would drop by everyday. It was much more easier for Peter to visit now that Tony, Rhodey and Vision moved back to the Stark Tower. Most of the floors were used by his employees, leaving the top floors to the team.

Tony knows that the younger ones are terrified of losing himself, and feels guilty for hurting them. 

The next day after his breakdown, Tony had an headache, and the rest of the day went by as he expected to die any moment. When the headache passed away, he couldn’t help but cry at the thought that he didn’t die. The sudden clarity that he hadn’t done so much he wanted if he had died hit him. 

Now, as the hot water soothed his tensed muscles, he realized that the feeling of waiting would never go, and he needed to _accept_ it. 

The hot water reminded him of the hot weather in Afghanistan, where he promised a dying man he wouldn’t waste his life. He promised to himself he wouldn’t waste Yinsen’s bravery. 

He needed to keep that promise. 

…..

“Would you like to explain why you haven’t showed up to your appointments?” Dr. Hannah, his therapist, asked. Her kind blue eyes reminded Tony of his mother, so maybe that is why he even bothered coming here. 

Lately he can't say no to Rhodey or anyone these days, and that’s how he even ends up here with Dr. Hannah. The old lady is kind and nice, so Tony tries not to be a jerk. He does have manners, when someone respects him. 

Dr. Hannah doesn’t force him to talk. She sits quietly whenever Tony would rather talk about his projects than his feelings. She can’t force him to open up, so she lets him do whatever he wants until he is ready to talk. 

And Tony likes that. So maybe that’s why he is actually willing to talk _now_. 

“I felt depressed. I still feel sad now,” he responds to her actually. Dr. Hannah, to her credit, doesn’t show her surprise. “That’s understandable,” she replied and Tony continued.

“But I think I can handle it now. It terrified me, the way I acted. It hit me that I didn’t want to waste the little time I have on being upset. It’s useless.”

D. Hannah is smiled at him, her eyes crinkling the way his mother’s used to. 

“I am glad you think that too Dr. Stark.”

…..

For the first time in a while, Tony actually looks at himself. His trademark goatee is gone, replaced with a salt-n-pepper beard. There were white hairs sprinkled all across his hair, and Tony was about to go for the dye when he stopped. He looked back at the aged face, at the white hairs and wrinkles around his eyes. 

Harley had teased when he remarked on the white hair, and Tony was about to hide those but he suddenly realized he didn’t want to. It is sign that he is getting old. 

He liked it, and accepted it. 

And Tony felt fine after a long time. 

….

“You want to do what?” Pepper glared at Tony as she stood up. Rhodey was sitting beside, silently seething and Vision hovered uneasily as Pepper paced. 

“Pep-“ Tony tries to talk but is cut off again. 

“You want to organize a pardon to bunch of international criminals from the UN Secretary General. Not to mention these people who are supposed to be your friends, who were not supposed to betray you. Also not forgetting the fact the two of them left you to _die_ in Siberia. You want to help these people?”

“I understand why you’re angry-“

“What I don’t get is why you are helping them? After everything?” Pepper yells.

“Because I don’t have a choice!” Tony yells back, standing up to face her. “Because I am dying and I want to fix everything! Because the world still needs Avengers to protect it, and they are the best chance we have if there is going to another alien invasion!”

Tony does not miss the way Pepper and Rhodey flinch when he said he was dying, and took a deep breath to calm himself. “Look, I don’t trust them anymore, and I don’t think I can in the future anymore. But this isn’t about me because it doesn’t matter what they did to me anymore. Think about this practically, Pep, because after I go, there are only going to two Avengers left. How much can Rhodey and Vision take until there is a problem? It would be better for us to work together to protect everyone Pep.”

“You’re are the one who's supposed to be the childish one, Tony, not the mature one,” Pepper teased to break the tension, blinking back the tears in her eyes. It was worth seeing Tony relax again, but he still looks at her pleadingly. 

Pepper looks at Rhodey for support but all the man can do is shake his head because he gets it. He gets where Tony is coming from and understands why he is doing this and it makes sense. But that does not he likes it. 

“Fine,” Pepper tells Tony, heart clenching when he gives her a tired smile. “But when they come back, you will not be around them. Do you understand me?” 

“Of course,” Tony replied back. The compound can still be used as an Avengers headquarters now that Tony is living in his Tower with Rhodey and Vision. 

Pepper takes a deep breath and controls herself. “Well, I guess we should start working on those pardons then. Would that be all Mr. Stark?” She asks, her voice not able to hide her sadness. 

“That would be all Ms. Potts.”

Damn, he really missed her.

….

“Don’t even think for a moment that I will move back to the compound.”

“But sugarcakes-“

“Shut up Tones. Vision and I will be staying here with you no matter what.”

“I do quite enjoy the insomniac meetings, Mr. Stark.”

“Shut up.”

….

It has been three months since he found to about his aneurysm, and he finally finished his will. He has to admit that it is weird to actually have a finalized will, but he doesn’t mind it. He is happy knowing that his legacy won’t fall on the wrong hands, and knows that everyone he loves will be protected in some way or the other. 

“FRIDAY, I want to add a protocol in the suit.”

“Of course boss,” his loyal AI replied back. “What should I name it?”

Tony pauses for a bit. 

“Let’s name it '[Avalon Protocol](http://knightinironarmor.tumblr.com/post/146078495555/knightinironarmor-does-anybody-remember-that).' ”

….

“Mr. Stark, now that General Ross is arrested, how is that going to affect your stand on the topic of the Sokovia Accords?”

Steve stopped switching the channel and could practically feel the tension in the common room. Everyone was here right after lunch, and it has been two weeks since Steve got everyone out of the Raft. At first, Steve was mad at Tony for letting their friends get locked up but he had realized that the man wasn’t the one. Clint still blamed Tony for everything. They were here in Wakanda while Tony was dealing with everything, and Steve felt guilty about it. 

“It hasn't,” Tony tells the reporter, a fake smile plastered on his face as cameras continue to shoot him. “What Mr. Ross did was wrong, but that doesn’t change my opinion on the accords. I still believe in the purpose of the accords, and agree with now 125 countries wanting accountability.”

“Then why are your lawyers pushing for amendments?” Another reporter asked. 

“To prevent people taking advantage of the Avengers like Mr. Ross did,” Tony replied back. “The Avengers are here to protect the innocent and not to be used for ideology or political gain. The UN agrees with that as no single country should have an advantage of using the Avengers for their own profit. We are here to protect and offer help, that is all we want to do.”

“Why hasn’t Spider-man signed yet?” The reporter throws another question. 

“He actually has,” Tony replied with a proud smile. “He has signed a individual contract that allows him to keep his secret identity while working with the NYPD to help reduce crime.” 

“Is it true that you are retiring from being Iron Man?”    

Tony pauses for a bit, a silence enveloping in the room. Steve notices the tired lines on the genius’s face, the grey hair and the way his smile isn’t reaching his eyes. 

“Yes,” Tony replied, and the room exploded with more questions. He raises his hand and everyone goes quiet, waiting for the billionaire to talk. 

“I won’t be wearing the suit until there is a catastrophe occurring or alien invasion. Because of years of fighting, my body has become more vulnerable as I continued to use the suits. My doctors have advised that I do not wear the Iron Man suit as my body grows old.”

“Are the injuries you acquired from Steve Rogers and James Barnes in Siberia the real reasons for your retirement?”

“No,” Tony said after a pause. “But they are some of the factors for the reasons.” He doesn’t say anything else. 

“I must say Mr. Stark,” a beautiful reporter said, fluttering her eyelashes. “The salt-n-pepper look suits you.” Tony gives her a fake smile with a wink. 

“Mr. Stark!” The man sitting next to the beautiful woman asked, glaring at the woman beside him. “Is it true that you are organizing pardons for the ex-Avengers?”

Clint sits up straight, and Wanda and Scott focus on the television, the camera zooming onto Tony’s face. Sam is standing behind Steve, his steady hand giving some comfort to the blonde. Tony is looking straight at the camera, as if knowing that they are listening to him. 

“I understand the reasoning behind the renegades’ decision of going against the accords, as proven by General Ross’s illegal actions. I understand that the renegades want to help everyone, and the accords would constrict their helping hand. We are the Avengers, an independent group that have no affiliations to any country, and people who want to protect the world. We are superheroes, but we are also humans.

“We have a system, although sometimes corrupt, but a system that helps regulate the law and justice, and allows the society to function. The Avengers are stronger than an average human being, but that does not allow us to be above the law.

“One hundred and twenty countries want their voice heard through the accords, and they are the ones that want the Avengers to be accountable for an action that they did not know. The accords are there for the Avengers to work with the government to avoid any casualties to the innocent bystanders.

“The Avengers are no better than any villain if we ignore the people’s voices. We are no different than Loki or the Mandarin if _we_ decide what is the best for everyone. We are no better than any supervillains who take away the choices from the people even if the Avengers have a good intention. The Avengers are here to protect, not to dictate what is right for everyone, and I know the ex-Avengers understand that.

“I am not organizing the pardons because they are my friends. I am doing this because many countries are wiling to give them another chance, and I sincerely hope that they do consider it.”

Steve did not know what do to. Neither did the others. 

…..

Vision was chopping the tomatoes while Rhodey was carefully cooking the omelet when Tony dropped the bomb as soon as he walked into the kitchen. 

“We are going to get a tattoo.”

Rhodey almost dropped the omelet. 

“What?” Rhodey couldn’t say anything else. 

“Remember the bucketlist we had in college? We were about to finish the list but-“ At the Tony stops with sad eyes -“my parents died. And we didn’t get tattoos.”

“I am not getting a tattoo.” Rhodey glares at Tony and ignores the way Vision is trying to hide his smile. 

“But honeybear you promised!”

And Rhodey knows that the Tony is joking around, but he didn’t like seeing the heartbroken expression on his best friend’s face, even if it is fake. 

Lately, Rhodey can’t say no to Tony, and he still hasn’t decided if that is a good thing. 

….

Rhodey is still holding onto Tony’s hand after the needle is away from his wrist. He looks at the [arc reactor tattoo](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/18/60/22/186022d97c9d2f9ed81f193a6ec37279.jpg), liking what he saw.

“I still think the platypus tattoo would look good,” Tony commented, his voice light. 

“Shut up Tones,” Rhodey replied back with a smile. 

They both got an arc reactor tattoo on the left wrist, and Rhodey actually liked it. It seemed fitting. 

He looks up to see Tony smiling at him, the pepper-n-salt hair giving him a certain amount of maturity he never would have seen. “What do you want to do next?” Rhodey asked. 

Tony looks at him, his heart beating fast. He knows Rhodey can see the vulnerability in his eyes, and for a second he doesn’t go for it. But then he thinks, _fuck it._

Tony inches closer, his lips hovering over Rhodey's, giving him the chance to back off. But Rhodey closes the gap with the kiss. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeah that just happened. I don't regret it now and the next chapter is the final (I think). The picture is not mine, so credits to the owner.


	6. The Ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Tony is Bisexual and Rhodey is gay. Just saying.

“Tony!” Laura exclaimed when she saw the said man at her footsteps. She kissed his check and let him in, Cooper and Lila dogpiling on him. She was holding Nathaniel who was trying to squirm away to get closer to Tony. She smiled softly as her children dragged Tony inside, animatedly chatting with the man. Her heart clenches a bit, thinking about a certain man.

“Laura help me!” Tony comically asked for help when the kids were chasing him. She smiled instead and walked into the kitchen, ignoring the “traitor” with a laugh. She took out the lasagna from the oven and placed it on the the table.

“Cooper! Lila! Set up the table with Tony please!” Laura called out as she cut the lettuce for the salad. She heard the scrambling and turned to see her children and Tony putting the plates on the table. She knows why Tony is really here; she has seen the news. She knows what is going to happen, but she also knows that Tony will wait until the children are in bed.

She doesn’t talk much, content with watching her children laughing with Tony, talking more about the new school. She notices the wishful look from Tony, but doesn’t know if she has any right to ask about it. She is happy to see her children smiling, trying to ignore what is going to happen. Soon enough, much to Laura’s dismay, the dinner was over and Tony was helping her with putting the children to bed.

“Laura,” Tony called out in the kitchen, watching her cleaning up. He can see how tense she is, but he knows the decision she has to make is going to tough.

“I know,” Laura said, “With Ross out of the way we should be safe to go back at the farm. But after what happened to Cooper-“ She stops, blinking the tears away. Tony doesn’t say much but he wraps his arms around her, bringing her face to his chest. Laura leans into the embrace, taking in strength from the man. After the Leipzig battle, there were footage of the Avengers fighting floating on the internet, and one man in the town had figured out what Clint _actually_ did for a job. The anger and fear against superheroes in the town sadly turned to the family of the said superheroes. They received anonymous threats from neighbors, but children were the ones to actually suffer. Cooper was bullied brutally, and if it wasn’t for Tony putting his foot down and taking them somewhere safe, Laura doesn’t know what she would have down.

“You don’t have to go to the farm again. You can stay here if you want,” Tony assures her. 

“I don’t know if I can forgive Clint,” Laura whispers.

“I am sorry.”

“It wasn’t your fault Tony,” Laura leans back, looking at his guilty eyes. “In fact, you are the one who saved us.”

“You know I am working on the others’ pardons.”

"I know, and I'll deal with Clint when the time comes," Laura sighs. "Thank you Tony, for everything. If there is anything I can do-"

"Actually there is," Tony interrupts with a small smile. "I am putting together a non-profit school that will be funded by the September Foundation. I was wondering if you wanna be a part of the process."

….

After 6 months, Captain America and the rest who followed him were exonerated. T’Challa promised Steve that Bucky would be save in his country, and he took his word. Now, standing in front of the Avenger’s compound, _their home_ , Steve feels after a long time relieved.

His teammates followed him to see Rhodey, _standing_ because of prosthetics, and Vision talking about something. He heard the deep breath Sam lets out when he sees Rhodey standing. Steve doesn’t see Tony anywhere, and was disappointed because he expected to see him there.

“Stark too ashamed to meet us?” Clint sneered and Steve’s sees the twitch in Rhodey’s face. Rhodey doesn’t show any other expression, and stoically explains that the compound officially belong to the Avengers, giving the papers to Steve. The Captain doesn’t miss the way Rhodey glares at him, or the way Vision stands still with no expression.

“FRIDAY isn’t integrated into the compound, and the Maria Stark Foundation will be funding any reliefs needed. Now that everyone is here, you are given the choice to sign the Accords. The papers are inside, so you can read over and sign it. If you do not sign it, then you will be considered retired and you better stay retired,” Rhodey completes, ignoring the glare Barton is giving.

“I thought the accords were over?” Steve responds back, because everything he has done will be for nothing.

“This isn’t the 1940s, where if you say it is wrong everyone shuts up,” Rhodey snaps. “It is time for you to live in the present, Captain, and stop believing in your past ideals. So you are going to read the accord and try to understand or I swear to God-“

“James?” Vision interjects, putting his hand on Rhodey’s shoulder. The two of them ignores the strange looks from others with the way Vision addresses Rhodey. The man calms down, knowing that getting angry right now would be completely useless.

“We’ll meet again in a week to listen to your decisions,” Rhodey speaks again, wanting to stay to see the shitshow he knows is going to happen, but he decides against it because he knows Tony will freak out if he stays here more than he needs too.

“Vision?” Wand speaks out when everyone notices the android doesn't tell his goodbyes to Rhodey. “Aren’t you going to stay?”

"Since I am not going to be in any missions, I think it will be convenient for me to stay with Tony," the android said calmly, looking straight at the woman.

"But, this is your home," Wanda said, her eyes yearning for the android to stay.

"No," Vision replied. "It is the place where you push me through the ground."

Wanda steps back, flinching away from the android. Clint steps in front, holding Wanda and glaring at Vision. "Now you're just being petty-"

"Petty Barton?" Rhodey said, disbelief clear on his face.

“Research would suggest otherwise Agent Barton,” Vision added, and it looked like he was glaring at them.

"You know what? I don’t have time to deal with this,” Rhodey said and presses a button on his prosthetics. The War Machine suit comes out, the faceplate covering Rhodey’s face. He gives a nod to Vision and takes off before he decides to shoot them. Steve expects Vision to follow, but the android stays. “I will leave once our guest makes the decision,” Vision tells them. He turns and floats into the building, not giving any further explanation.

The rest look at each other before following Steve into the building. It hasn’t changed much, Steve realizes, and as soon as they come to the common room, they see a familiar brown-haired woman sitting. Clint stopped forward when he realized that it was his wife.

Laura stands up, her eyes widening as she sees her husband and gets close to here. “Babe,” Clint whispers, stepping forward to finally touch his wife. The expression quickly changes, and Laura slaps Clint right across his face hard. Twice.

“Gone for six months with no message, and all you have to say is ‘babe?’” She screams at him, and Clint frowned, still in shock, when she steps back away from him.

“Wha-“

“You chose Steve over us? Over your children? You promised you wouldn’t go back to being an Avenger when Nathaniel was born. How could you do this to your children? To me?”

“Steve needed us,” Clint tells her, surprised by her outburst. “You know the real reason why I had to go because Stark wasn’t going to listen-“

“That’s because Steve didn’t tell Tony anything!” Laura spits back. “I read the accords, you know, after it was apparent that you wouldn't be coming. The accords wouldn’t have affected you because you were retired, but no, you had to go be part of something didn’t you Clint?”

“You have been talking to Stark,” Clint realized when Laura call the genius _Tony_ rather than _Stark_. “You have been talking to him while I was in jail-“

“And when he protected us when your dumbass got arrested. He was the one who protected us when Ross was about to use us to get hold of you. He did the one thing that you promised, Clint, and he was the one who was there when you were supposed to!" Laura bites back.

“You chose Steve over us, admit to that. Or was it to _impress_ someone else?” Laura turns her furious eyes and ugly sneer to Wanda. Clint stepped back, each word hitting him like a force.

“No, it was never like that! How could you even think-“

“What was I supposed to think?” Laura cried out. “Six months and no contact. Nothing you could have sent through the King, everyone knew you were there. So why didn’t you?”

She takes a deep breath and turns away, trying to calm herself. She blinks back her tears, refusing to cry in front of them.

“Tony offered me a job. He is starting a non-profit school and he wants me to be a part of me. I haven’t said anything yet.”

She turns to Clint, her eyes softening slightly at her husband’s scared look. “I have a week before I have to give my answer. A week for us to work out whether we even want this relationship and earn the trust. You will stay here and read the accord if I mean something to you. But, if I take this job, then I do it for myself and not for you. Your decision will not affect my decision for the job. Do you understand?”

She doesn’t wait for Clint to say anything, and turns to Vision. “I would like to go back to my home Vision,” she tells the android with a small smile.

“Of course Mrs. Barton,” the android replied back.

“Wait,” Clint stops them, “where are you going?”

“I am getting the kids here. They miss their father.”

“They can’t come here!” Clint slightly shouts. “No one should know about the kids-“

“You blew that off when you went to fight at Leipzig!” Laura yells back, feeling Vision pulling her back in case she rips her husband's eyes off. “Your picture was everywhere, and it didn’t take much for people to realize who Cooper’s father really is. You should be grateful that Tony got us out before-“ She cuts off, knowing that her husband can clearly see the fear. Clint had turned several shades paler, understanding the implications perfectly. She walks away, not turning back to the group of people.

“There is tablet, Mr. Lang, that will connect you to your daughter, ex-wife, and Ms. Pym,” Vision neutrally states and follows the woman before giving the group a final nod.

Scott immediately takes the tablet and leaves for privacy, knowing that Maggie and Hope will definitely kill him. Steve is looking at Clint, worried at how pale the man is. “Clint-“ Steve is about to say something, keeping his hand on the man’s shoulder.

“Not now Cap.” With that, Clint left. Wanda quietly retreats to her room, guilt and sadness enveloping her at Vision’s distance.

“Steve?” Sam asks, worried about the supersoldier.

“It’ll be fine,” Steve tells Sam, unsure if he is telling to the man or himself.

He thought the accords had been put aside, was dealt with, and he won. Clearly that wasn’t the case.

….

“Why was his light saber in Maz Kanata’s basement?” Tony asks, clearly worked up on the topic.

“Because it’s an interesting story for another time!” Rhodey counterattacks.

“That is called a plot hole!” Tony retaliates.

"Shut up," Rhodey weakly argues, feeling Tony's laugh against his neck.

Pepper smiled softly as she walked up to the two people cuddling. She would be lying if their relationship didn't shock her, but then she realized that she didn't hate it. She loved Tony, and knew that he loved her too. Their relationship might not have worked, but that doesn't mean that their friendship disappeared. She thought that she would have hated it, but then she realized that she was happy for them.

Only people close to them knew about their relationship, and they were okay with it.

....

"Can I talk to Tony?"

Rhodey stops at Steve's question. He was about to leave, Vision trailing behind him, after the general meeting they had. Steve and others had signed the accords, much to Rhodey's relief. He knew how much at peace Tony will be after he learns about this news. Rhodey is looking at Steve, conflict emotions running through his mind.

At one point, Rhodey respected Steve for what he did to protect his best friend because he knows that he will do _anything_ to keep his Tony safe. He understands that about Steve and even somewhat respects that.

But then he remembers how this man had abandoned _his_ Tony in the middle of nowhere. He remembers how Steve betrayed his friend Tony for another friend. He remembers the letter that was basically a fuck you to his Tony. He remembers the nights his Tony wakes up with a scream, tears running down his face as his hands go over his chest, looking for the tear that the shield had made on the suit.

"No," Rhodey replies to Steve, his voice carrying no sign of compromise.

"I know," Steve grits out, "that we have our differences, but we really need to communicate-"

"I am not letting any one of you to meet Tony," Rhodey said, determined.

"We have to talk and resolve our problems if we have to work together-"

"Tony is not going to wear the Iron Man suit unless the situation calls for it," Rhodey interrupts him. "His body has gotten too weak to fight in the suit, no thanks to you," he finished, feeling a small amount of satisfaction to see Steve flinch.

"I thought it was just for show," Steve weakly responds.

"Well, it's not. His body cannot handle the amount of stress, so he promised that he wouldn't be wearing the suit until we are getting invaded by aliens again."

"But can I at least talk to him?" Steve pleads.

"No."

"You can't decide for Tony-“

“Oh, like you did for Tony when you decided that he didn’t need to know that his parents were murdered?” Rhodey shot back, smirking a bit when Steve steps back.

“I am not going to let you meet him right now because Tony has a severe case of PTSD,” Rhodey continues, noting the wide eyes from Sam. “I know that he will get triggered when he meets you, and I know that he doesn’t want to meet you. So unless he wants to, you will not contact Tony. Do you understand me Rogers?”

He gets a nod, and Rhodey turns back. He doesn’t bother listening to their excuses.

As if he is ever going to let them hurt _his_ Tony again.  
....

Sometimes, Tony has this look in his eyes. Rhodey would catch him working on his tablet, but his eyes were somewhere else, sadness in those brown eyes. In those times Rhodey would wrap his arms around him, resting his head on his shoulder until Tony would come back to him. He would distract him through small kisses along the neck, and he lets Tony hold onto him. They hold onto each other, thankful for this moment.

Rhodey doesn’t regret that kiss, and he will never regret this.

He is happy.

….

"You deserve better."

They were cuddling in their bedroom, with Tony's back against Rhodey's chest as the older man ran his fingers against the soft grey hair. He stops when he hears Tony say that.

“Do you regret it?”

“No,” Tony immediately answers, still not facing him. “I don’t regret this, but I can’t give you more and you deserve someone who can give you that-“

“Maybe I do,” Rhodey stops him. “But I get to decide that. I don’t need to get married to you Tones. I am happy just the way things are.”

“But I am going to die,” Tony whispers. He turns to him, this man who has been with him since he was fifteen. “I am going to leave you and I don’t want to hurt you.”

“It is going to hurt”- when you die is left unsaid but Tony hears it-“but you know what would have hurt more?” Rhodey asks as he kisses the side of his neck. "I wouldn't get to do this and would forever regret that I couldn't tell this beautiful man 'I love you' at least once."

Rhodey sees the teary eyes and kisses Tony on the lips. “Stop feeling guilty. I chose this, remember, and I won’t regret it,” he whispers, earning a confused stare.

“I have known you for more than twenty years Tones, I know that guilty look better than you think you asshole.”

….

Rhodey cries when he can run, and he presses kisses all over Tony’s face as he realizes he can run now.

Tony feels his heart soar the moment he sees the bright smile on Rhodey’s face.

_One thing less he needs to do before..._

….

There is a war.

Not really a war, more like an invasion From Red Skull and weird alien looking things springing out from a black hole in the sky because of a stone.

_Did anyone from the 40s actually stay dead?_

Rhodey did not want to know. Not when Tony decided to come in his suit to fight.

“FRIDAY, private comm. Now,” Rhodey ordered the AI. “Tones-“

“No Rhodes,” Tony replied knowing what the other man would say. “I am not standing by without any fight. Even with everything that has happened. This is bigger than me, Rhodes.”

Rhodey wanted to scream at Tony, but understood what he said. So he stood silent, letting the man fight assuring that the man will not die on him.

….

“FRIDAY-"

“Sir. _Boss_?”

“No vital signs detected. Activating Avalon Protocol.”

….

_They won_ , Rhodey thinks with a sign of relief. Everyone around is catching their breath, laughing and crying because they just won. He turns to see Tony land, but the man isn’t getting out of his suit. His heart stops when the suit crashes on the ground.

“Colonel,” AI softly spoke, her voice breaking as if she is crying.

_No._

He doesn’t hear the shouts from the others when he trips as he runs to Tony. He crawls to his man, Vision already dismantling the Iron Man suit. He doesn’t care that he is crying as he cradles Tony on his lap. The younger man’s eyes are open, blank.

“Tony?” Rhodey whispers, his voice thick with the tears. “ _Tony_.”

“I am so sorry Colonel,” FRIDAY interrupts, her voice so human and heartbreaking. “I couldn’t contact you because of the Avalon Protocol during the fight. I am so sorry.”

Rhodey doesn’t care. “Tony,” he demands, loud, hoping that the man would glare at him and say his name the same way to just irritate him.

But he just laid there, dead in his arms.

….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I regret nothing. 
> 
> I feel like since MCU hasn't really given much about Laura, I decided to go with my own interpretation with the character. I feel like people blinded with hate could go after Clint's family, so it doesn't sound weird to me if Cooper had gotten bullied because of parents' beliefs. 
> 
> Also, I totally believe that Tony is Star Trek fan and Rhodey is a Star Wars fan, and they do get into arguments about it. The conversation from the above is actually from "Weird Things New Parents Worry About" from Buzzfeed (I adore this series).
> 
> There is going to a final chapter, with a funeral scene and how others process everything. I appreciate the comments and kudos! Thank you!


	7. Epilogue

The Avalon Protocol would have allowed that suit to still function even after the man inside is dead, fighting based on Tony’ brain patterns and previous battles.

Rhodey did not know what to think because _of course_ Tony would do something like that.

….

Rhodey has been to many funerals. Some of them were his soldiers, and others family members.

But this felt different.

There were many people in the church. Representatives from countries that Iron Man had protected from the terrorists were here, wanting to pay respect to the hero who was there for them. They kept telling how much of a hero Tony was, and it is sad that the world lost another hero.

Rhodey wanted to yell at them. Scream to everyone that they were burying _Tony Stark_ , not _Iron Man_.

_But I am Iron Man!_

Pepper held his hand as Harley and Peter sat on his left, Vision beside her. He was thankful that the other Avengers were sitting away from him. He knew Laura was with them, holding the crying Nathaniel as Lila and Cooper were hugging their father in tears. Clint didn't know that the kids were close to Tony, and Rhodey wanted to punch every single one because they thought they _knew_ him.

He felt someone squeeze his hand, looking at the side to see Pepper's red eyes. Everyone was looking at him now that the priest has stepped down. Oh, he is supposed to say his speech.

He wheels toward the podium, the wheelchair clinking as everyone stared. He didn't stand behind the podium, and placed himself right next to the coffin. He couldn't at the coffin, _he couldn't_. He looks at the paper, his speech that he was supposed to say but suddenly he couldn't. He couldn’t just say those words.

“Tony had an aneurysm,” Rhodey starts, doesn’t bother to stop when people gasp loudly. “The doctors said that they couldn’t do anything, and I knew how much Tony tried to find a cure. The reality of him dying was odd to me.

“I met Tony when he was 15, too young to be in college. I have known him for more than 30 years, and I always expected that I would die first. With me being in the army and lots of wars, I expected to be the first one to leave. Then Afghanistan happened, and for the first time in my life, it hit me that Tony could die. Everyone had given up for those three months, but I refused to believe that my best friend is dead until I saw his body. Then, a miracle happened, and I got my Tony back. Beaten down and scarred, but he was alive.

“Morocco. New York. Sokovia. Leipzig. Every single time Tony wore the suit, I refused to believe it would the last time I would see him. And now, the person who has been my constant for almost 30 years now is gone.

“Many forget that Tony is not a soldier. He was a civilian, trying to make the world a better place. He was never trained to fight, but he did as long as it was to protect someone else. He always believed in the bigger picture, to make sure everyone was safe even if it meant he would die. Tony Stark is a hero, no matter what anyone says.

"For some people Tony was their hero. To a few, he was like their dad-" Rhodey stops to look at Peter and Harley and Vision "-and know that he will always be proud of who you are. To me, he was more than a friend. He was my life."

Rhodey didn't care about the tears that were streaming down his face. He didn't care about the pity that people had as he wheeled down, his hands shaking. He didn't care about the implications of what he just told.

_He just didn't care anymore._

.....

Tony was buried at the grounds in Stark Mansion in New York. He was buried beside his mother, and Rhodey took comfort in the fact that maybe Tony was back with his mother now. He stared at the tombstone that marked the grave, words blurring as time passed.

_Anthony Edward Stark_

_May 29th, 1974_

_July 15th, 2017_

_I am Iron Man._

 

The sounds of leaves crunching snaps Rhodey back to the reality. He tenses in his wheelchair, his hand going to side to pull out the gun that Tony had installed when the man dropped to his knees.

"I never thanked him," Bruce Banner said. Rhodey doesn't say anything but turns away, not wanting to even look at him.

"Tony was the first one in a while to be comfortable around me. He was the first one to joke around me, not afraid of the other guy. He gave me a safe place to live, labs to conduct my research, had been my friend. And I just took it."

He didn't say anything else, and they stayed there for a while. "You know, he trusted you. He always believed you would come back," Rhodey whispered, not bothering to hide the crack in his voice.

"I am sorry," Bruce whispered.

Rhodey doesn't look at him, doesn't see the tears and the regret on Bruce's face. "It's not me who deserves that," the colonel said.

.....

Steve is standing in front of the grave.

 _Tony's grave_.

Steve knew that he didn’t fully comprehend the situation. He felt numb and the words on the grave blurred as tears streamed down his face. His knees gave up, his face in front of the tombstone. The fact that he was standing in front of Tony’s grave made his heart squeeze painfully and a sob came out when he realized that he never _tried_.

Even after he came back, he never tried to contact Tony. Tried to talk to him or even see him.

He never told him how sorry he was for what had happened.

He never tried, and now he never can.

....

Tony made sure that he left something for everyone.

Tony give most of his SI shares to Pepper, giving her more power in the company and making sure that even after Tony's death the Stark Industries will never sell weapons of at form. He also gave her the Malibu mansion, knowing that Pepper and Happy liked the warm weather.

Pepper and Happy vowed to keep Tony's hope alive.

Tony left his inventions, unfinished projects, and unlimited access to his private servers to Peter, Harley and Vision.

The two boys and the android vowed to keep Tony's legacy alive. 

Tony donated most of his money to the September Foundation, knowing that Laura would use his money to make sure that the Yinsen Academy will help bright students with no resources.

Laura promised herself to repay Tony by dedicated to a cause that means so much to the genius.

Tony donated the rest of his money to the Avengers, making sure that the the team would still have the resources.

Steve and the team didn't know what to say.

Tony left a video for Rhodey.

.....

Rhodey was in his room, away from others to watch the video. "FRIDAY," he whispers, knowing the AI could hear him, "could you play the video please?"

The AI silently complied, and an hologram of Tony appeared. Rhodey took in the appearance, noting the white hairs but his eyes near trailing off because Tony is in front of him.

"Rhodey," Tony starts with a nervous smile, obviously uncomfortable with the situation. "If you are watching this, then it means that I am dead. It also means that you were near me when I died, or watched me die, and I am so sorry that you had to see that."

The holographic figure paused and Tony took a sip from the glass that was near him. Rhodey could see that he was trying to calm himself, and he ached to just touch him. He ached to kiss the frown away, brush his fingers against the tensed back, but Rhodey couldn't do that anymore.

"My last memory of my parents was me fighting with dad and mom on the sidelines with a worried expression. I didn't see them off before... they died, and I didn't say that I loved them, despite everything. My last memory was me yelling at them, and even though BARF helped me process my pain, it doesn't help me change that memory into what I want it to be.

"I don't want me dying to be the last memory for you honeybear," Tony said, his brown eyes lined with tears but filled with such love. Rhodey let out a sob, tears dripping down his face.

"I want your last memory of me to be this. I want it to be me saying that I love you," Tony's voice cracks a bit but he doesn't stop. "Thank you for being there for me through the toughest times. Thank you for never giving up for me, letting me show the worst side and still standing beside me. Thank you for loving me, even though I probably don't deserve it.

"God I love you so much. It is scary when you think how close you are to my heart," Tony said with a laugh. His eyes crinkle when he smiles, Rhodey's heart clenching when he realizes he won't be seeing that smile anymore. "I was so scared that if I told you about my feelings I would ruin our friendship. You mean the world to me, honeybear, and I will never regret our first kiss."

"Thank you Rhodey, for everything and I love you so much. Bye."

The hologram stops with Tony crying with a smile on his face, and this hurts Rhodey even more because he realizes just how much he has lost now.

.....

Life goes on, Rhodey realizes, even when you lose someone you love.

People grow up, time changes, and life moved on.

But Rhodey also learns that the dead leaves a mark on many people.

He watches as Peter and Harley grow up to become brilliant scientists and heroes.

Many respect and love Peter as the Spiderman and Harley as the new Iron Man.

Laura continues to change a kid’s life by giving a chance to study and a safe place in Tony’s name.

The Avengers, new and old, come together to protect the innocent. There are days when the old members feels a heaviness in their heart when they realize that there is one particular person isn’t standing with them.

And Rhodey? He grows old.

….

A heart attack. That’s why Rhodey is now in the hospital.

Peter, now the CEO of the Parker Industries, is standing beside Harley, the brilliant inventor who is also the newly appointed CEO of Stark industries.

Both of the boys grew up, having a spouse and children while still being an Avenger and saving the world.

Pepper is sitting beside Rhodey’s bed, Happy standing behind her. Retired and happily married, both have grown old, yet Rhodey could see the younger selves.

Vision is standing by the door, and the rest of the Avengers are behind that door.

There is a sad atmosphere, as Rhodey takes his final breath.

But Rhodey is finally going to see Tony after so long.

…..


End file.
